Showing posts with label James Comey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label James Comey. Show all posts

20180430

Donald Trump: "I never lie, I just invent my own truth"

blogules: 'Thank you for accepting this interview in your Mar-a-Lago lair.'
Donald J. Trump: 'You know I'm getting tired of Fox News, and I can't accept interviews with fake news anymore. I totally trust your self-proclaimed Weapons of Mass Disinformation, and I liked your one-on-ones with KIM Jong-un* or Macron** for your Agence Fausse Presse.'
b: 'You spend between one quarter and one third of your time in this Florida White House. Don't you like the original?'
DJT: 'Problem is I don't own 1600 Penn Ave yet. What I can do is transform this place into a profitable landmark. Fees have already tripled, we overcharge taxpayers tens of millions for security detail, and people will pay fortunes to visit Mar-a-Lago after 2036.'
b: 'Why 2036? You expect to die when you're 90?'
DJT: 'Of course not, I'm in an amazing shape, and will live longer than 250 years, according to my physicians Ronnie Jackson and Harold Bornstein, who signed the diagnostics I dictated them. I simply plan to retire after my second series of two mandates but for that, Mike Pence will have to pull me a Medvedev between 2024 and 2028.'
b: 'Why not change the Constitution to pull us a XI Jinping instead, and become president for life? Justices Kennedy and Ginsburg may not even survive your first term.'
DJT: 'I like your way of thinking. Indeed, we're doing a tremendous job at destroying US institutions, and justice is where we've been the most efficient so far.'
b: 'If it weren't for that Russia Probe...'
DJT: 'Total witch hunt. There's no collusion, all the rumors are fake, the ties between Manafort and Russia, Flynn and Putin, my whole campaign team and Sergei Kislyak, me and the Russian mafia...'
b: 'First time I hear about that last one.'
DJT: 'Vladimir's mole at the New York Times thinks they'll publish a scoop pretty soon about it, but that's a complete fabrication. Something to do with real estate, which is impossible: I've never been into this business.'
b: 'Come on, that's an outrageous lie.'
DJT: 'I never lie, I just invent my own truth. You know, something I learned from Dr Norman Vincent Peale is that if you don't like facts, you just have to repeat to yourself what you want to hear, and you soon believe it completely. I would pass all lie detector tests with flying colors. I know I would, because I practice every day for the moment Robert Mueller calls me in.'
b: 'I noticed behind your desk this original Time Magazine cover, featuring you as Man Of The Year for winning the 2018 Nobel Peace Prize. Isn't that a bit too much?'
DJT: 'Yuge, but I'm bigger than truth. And I deserve these awards, just like I deserved each and every one of my Academy Awards - by the way my favorite is for 'Titanic', an epic about the GOP. See what I've achieved with North Korea?'
b: 'Well you accepted the dictator's invitation, which all your predecessors refused, and by doing so, you helped KIM Jong-un save his own bacon, get a lifeline from XI.'
DJT: 'Maybe, but I scared him big time. Hell, I scare everybody. Believe me, I'd do anything to get this Nobel Peace Price - I'd nuke the hell out of Iran, Japan, you name it.'
b: 'Japan is a US ally...'
DJT: '... and Shinzo is a great guy. We have many Nazi friends in common, and he knows how to lose gracefully when we play golf. But Japan is cheating us bigly with trade. They don't buy as many US cars as we buy Japanese cars.'
b: 'But many of these Japanese cars are made in the US, and American cars are not competitive in quality and design.'
DJT: 'I know, that's why all my Trump cars are made in China. But Vlad asked me to demolish all international treaties. Plus my voters love to see me whack a mole everyday, and hear them scream.'
b: 'Do you think you can win again in 2020?'
DJT: 'Of course I will. Steve Bannon and Cambridge Analytica are still helping me, and I instructed my administration to do nothing to prevent Vladimir from further screwing our system. Even if they didn't need to be briefed, because they already receive monthly payments from Moscow, who as you can imagine has dirt on many members of Congress.'
b: 'So no collusion, right?'
DJT: 'No collusion whatsoever between me and American values. I'm here to destroy this nation, and Make Amerika Great Again, so sue me.'
b: 'If I do, who'll represent you, now that Michael Cohen is in trouble?'
DJT: 'Rudy Giuliani would take a bullet for me. Michael Cohen said he would, but now I'm not so sure. Anyway if Mike flips, I'll tweet him to death - that's what I call flipping the bird. And if tweets are not enough, our old mobster friends will carve nice concrete shoes for him to fertilize the Hudson River along with Jimmy Hoffa.'
b: 'Your friends are falling one by one around you, and most of the time you're the one pulling the trigger. How long can you keep that pace?'
DJT: 'You'd be surprised to see how many people are willing to experience their 15 minutes of shame. I already fished scores of them from the worst trashcans, and you haven't seen the bottom of it.'
b: 'So far, we've seen quite a few bottoms, but no swamp draining.'
DJT: 'Come on - crazy Stormy Daniels, phony Karen McDougal, that's ridiculous. Me having an affair with a porn star or a Playmate, can you imagine that?'
b: 'As much as it makes me nauseous, I can: you were a regular at Heffner's Playboy Mansion, and even made a cameo in a soft porn movie.'
DJT: 'That was long before I became Evangelical, and met Mike Pence. You know, this guy is such a religious fanatic that he already experienced a third coming.'
b: 'Actually, your Veep does have three kids.'
DJT: 'And they're smart kids. Of course not as smart as mine. My kids inherited my stable genius genes, and like me, went to nice schools because their father was smart enough to make nice gifts to nice schools.'
b: 'Your father made your own career possible with his money and connections. You couldn't have succeeded in New York real estate all by yourself.'
DJT: 'Everybody says I'm a genius in real estate, one like the world has never seen before.'
b: 'But five minutes ago, you said you'd never been in that business. And I noticed that you even tweeted it for good measure.'
DJT: 'That's a hoax. The only real estate project I'm interested in is The Wall.'
b: 'Will it ever be erected?'
DJT: 'Already done, look at these pictures.'
b: '... Impressive... Looks like a 3,000 mile long Mt Rushmore with your face reproduced a billion times on it. How come no one has ever seen it?'
DJT: 'There was a fantastic article about it in the National Enquirer, by the great John Barron.'
b: 'Isn't John Barron your alias when you call the media?' 
DJT: 'John is not that great, but we get well together. Me, I never call the media. Frankly? I never watch the media, they're all fake news.'
b: 'And you don't attend White House Correspondents' Dinners.'
DJT: 'Did you see that nasty woman on stage? Michelle Wolf? I was watching her...'
b: 'Because you never watch the media.'
DJT: '... and I asked myself if Hillary were president - by the way she's not because I won the unwinnable election, remember how awesome that was? - if Crooked Hillary were president, would this Wolf bite that nastily?'
b: 'I think, for starters, that President Clinton would have had the guts to attend the meeting, and as usual, to face her critics. And that she would have laughed her best Kate McKinnon laughter while swallowing the bitter pill.'
DJT: 'She's a loser. She enjoys it. You know, the WHCD I went to? Barack Obama and Seth Meyers were so nasty to me, I promised never to get back. Obama can be very nasty. Did you know that he fired Comey?'
b: 'What? You fired James Comey!'
DJT: 'Wrong. I never fire anybody. I pretended to during 'The Apprentice', just like I pretended to be a businessman, but the fact is that in real life, I don't know much about business, and I can't tell anyone 'you're fired'. I always do it by proxy, or via tweet, or I bully the guy until he resigns.'
b: 'Deep down, you're a coward.'
DJT: 'If I'm a coward, what does that make of Republicans supposed to guarantee checks and balances in this country?'
'Regardless of how Kim Jong-un plays Moon Jae-in, MJI sure knows how to play Trump (sce CNN):' (20180429 - twitter.com/theseoulvillage/status/990464140513689600)


blogules 2018
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un - Season III" (March 2018), "EXCLUSIVE-Second interview with KIM Jong-un" (February 2017), "Exclusive interview with KIM Jong-un" (December 2013)
** voir "Macron en mode G.I." (April 2018)

20180201

The nuclear option


Devin Nunes proves, once again with the help of Paul Ryan, that he would do anything to defend Donald Trump and torpedo the Russia Probe. And just like last year, his fellow GOP lawmakers seem ready to remain complicitly "speechless" (I seriously wonder how much kompromat Putin and his friends have on these guys).

This time, Nunes, who had to recuse himself from the case (a 'nothing burger' that already produced at least two guilty pleas from campaign members), wrote a dangerously misleading memo denounced by the very man Trump chose to replace James Comey: new FBI chief Christopher Wray warned the White House that this memo shouldn't be published. As if it weren't enough, Adam Schiff revealed that Nunes edited it without consulting the committee.

Like the POTUS he so desperately wants to protect, Devin Nunes acts guilty in a such blatant way it would be laughable if so much weren't at stake. US democracy is under attack, and Trump is seriously considering the mother of all diversions: preemptive strikes on North Korea

Victor Cha toyed with the concept (see "Alert!") before refusing to be the Ambassador in charge of evacuating tens of thousands of US citizens from the peninsula.

Let's be clear: there is no guarantee preemptive strikes would incapacitate Kim Jong-un's nuclear program, and there is no scenario where they wouldn't lead to mass destruction in Seoul and South Korea. We're talking hundreds of thousands if not millions of victims.

Normally, there shouldn't be any scenario where Nunes and Trump avoided impeachment. We know that Republicans won't lift a finger before mid-term elections, but the gimchi is expected to hit the fan long before that - White House hawks seem willing to strike after the Pyeongchang olympics.

Brace for a funeral March.


blogules 2018
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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20170802

We will build a firewall, or America will pay for it

Everybody knows that Donald Trump, obstructing justice in plain sight and tweets, tries to get rid of Robert Mueller and the Russia investigation he brought upon himself.

Everybody knows that Trump could fire the special counsel, but would then face a backlash tenfold more damaging than the one following James Comey's eviction. He tried to sic his lawyers on Mueller, and to have AG Rod Rosenstein recuse himself, but can't wait to have a friendly, unrecusable, and unbeleaguered successor to Jeff Sessions to stop, torpedo, or at least hack into the investigation. 

Everybody knows that Trump doesn't want to own Session's departure, and bullies him into resigning. So far, he only succeeded in drawing more support for his AG, even from his fiercest enemies.

So here's Trump's latest not-so-subtle attempt: reviving Session's sulfurous past to make him despicable enough to everyone that counts, except of course to their common white supremacist base. Asking Jeff Sessions to solve racial discrimination is like asking Scott Pruitt to solve climate change - recipe for disaster of biblical proportions (BTW tighten your Bible belt on that one).

"Obviously, tries to use ' past to put him on an even hotter seat and discard him" (CNN: "NYT: Trump administration prepares to investigate 'race-based discrimination')" (20170802 - twitter.com/stephanemot/status/892624598654701568)
In the same nauseating breath, and as usual, Trump sparks outrage in a new direction to out-do the outrage surrounding his own persona. Huffington Post's Chris York went as far as to suggest that the Anthony Scaramucci comedia del arte was part of a plot to divert attention from Bill Browder's key testimony*.

ICYMI during his hearing at the Senate, Browder exposed the Putin system that killed Sergei Magnitsky, connecting many dots in the Russiagate: Donald Trump Jr, Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort attended a meeting that not only aimed at helping a foreign power influence the US elections, but also at serving the wealthiest man on Earth, the capo di tutti capi, and ultimate corruptor, Vladimir Putin. Repealing and replacing the Magnitsky act is not about improving adoption, but about saving Putin's business. And we're not talking about superrich emirates bribing their way into the West to gain influence, but about an autocrat determined to destroy Western democracies.

Everybody knows that Trump, his family, and friends, are almost openly corrupting the US democracy in ways that reach far beyond money (even if, right on cue, Mueller team announced that Greg Andres, an expert in foreign bribery**, would join the investigation).

Everybody knows that the GOP sold its soul to the devil, and can't kick the can down the road endlessly. 

At least, not all GOP lawmakers remain "Speechless": Jeff Flake delivered a courageous mea culpa for his party's - and his own - shameless denials and betrayals. 

I must digress here, because Flake waited until after the failed Trumpcare vote to take a stand, and I have to say something about someone who played a pivotal role in this vote. I was sad to learn about John McCain's health, and even sadder to see this old lion disgrace himself once more by voting for the House's s..t of paper (he sank much deeper in 2008 by pledging allegiance to the Discovery Institute, and later by picking Sarah Palin). McCain's (final?) thumb down showed that he cared, and not just about his legacy. 

McCain also happens to be the strongest voice around against Putin.

If the sanctions against Russia put some important issues on paper, they're just indirect measures against enemies of the State Trump and Putin. They cowardly expose how much trust GOP lawmakers have in Trump, who reluctantly signed it while declaring it unconstitutional (ironically, by signing, he was precisely, and for a change, preserving the constitution). Impicitely, the GOP recognized a man who doesn't want the buck to stop here, but in Moscow.

These sanctions are a timid start, but America must build a much stronger wall to save itself from Trump and Putin. Indeed, we must build a firewall, or America will pay for it.

blogules 2017
Since 2003, nonsensical posts about noncritical issues in nonenglish (get your blogules transfusion in French)
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* "Bill Browder’s Senate Judiciary Committee Hearing Could Explain Anthony Scaramucci’s Bizarre Behaviour" (Huffington Post UK - 20170731) 
** "Greg Andres: Latest lawyer appointed to join Robert Mueller's Russia investigation team has background in foreign bribery" (Independent - 20170802)
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